Life is tough. Life is challenging. And when it comes to life, change is inevitable! While society’s preferences and demands constantly evolve, what must not be compromised, what must not be forgotten, what must not be diluted is what it means to be a man and a loving father. When I say man I am not simply referring to full grown males. I am referring to a “man” as there is a difference. The purpose of this blog is to first acknowledge the men out there putting in work and making fatherhood look as it is intended to be. Secondly, outline some guiding principles for any one that may read this and is wondering what an effective father looks like.
As a husband and father myself I love nothing more than to see fathers proactively tending to their obligations. So I say kudos and thank you to all the fathers out here that are making positive contributions to society on a daily basis. To those of us willing to sacrifice for the betterment of our spouse and kids, I say thank you for your servant leadership. I also thank you for being there and focusing on the bigger picture to create a legacy for your descendants. If nobody else says “thank you” just know that this blog is intended to shout you out and acknowledge your tireless work!
Listed below are some guiding principles (adjectives) that I feel are essential in order to be an effective and active father or what I like to refer to as an “All-Pro Dad”. This list is not comprehensive but it is intended to be a reference point to encourage men to be better for our families and the communities we impact.
• Resilient – A diligent father is resilient. He possesses the ability to endure trying times and focus on performing his duties, even when it goes unappreciated. This doesn’t mean men are emotionless creatures who do not get tired and feel down from time to time. I am highlighting that a true man has the ability to not only motivate others to be better but also has the ability to motivate himself during doubtful times.
• Responsible – An active father is responsible. Real men embrace accountability. A man focuses on achieving spiritual, personal, and professional goals and is not afraid to be held accountable by others. He is the same way with fatherhood. He seeks to grow and learn from his mistakes. He does so, out front, so his kids have a daily example to see.
• Resourceful – A prudent father is resourceful. In order to be effective in anything in life, especially as a husband and father, a man has to be practical and able to get things done despite having limited options. Using your creativity to drive positive change in your personal life is essential!
• Rational – An objective father is rational. The purpose driven man seeks to live a life of balance and seeks to be sensible in all situations. This is where the art of compromise comes into play. Sometimes situations cause for aggressive tendencies in order to succeed and, at other times, more subtle and strategic tactics are needed. Knowing how to adjust and work well with others is not a sign of being weak. To be honest, only wanting to do things your way is more likely a sign of a weaker mind if you struggle to understand more than one vantage point. A real man and father operates from this vantage and leads his family.
• Reputable – A caring father cares about and is interested in having a good reputation. Proverbs 22:1 says “A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold.” So keep that in mind the next time you are considering doing something that likely won’t end well for you publicly, your family or your namesake!
None of us are perfect so mistakes will be made. Making mistakes is not the issue, in as much as, the focus should be on how to prevent making mistakes in the first place and what is needed to correct them. We don’t have to be perfect fathers but we do have to be present! I am hopeful that what I have offered up will be useful to you as you move forward in life. I wish you the best on your journey through Fatherhood. Like I also say: “In all that you do, seek to be Upwright!”
Regards,
LW
